What does it mean to really love in a world that feels increasingly disconnected? Inspired by Biblical Bookworm’s video on the collapse of dating and marriage, I reflect on my own struggle to live out selfless love—sometimes in the most unexpected ways, like sharing pizza with strangers.
- May 29, 2025
The Collapse of Dating and Marriage: A Video That Hit Home
Biblical Bookworm’s video, “The Collapse of Dating and Marriage,” explores why so many people feel hopeless about love today. She connects this crisis to a loss of belief in love itself and the decline of Christian values, arguing that Christianity at its core is a call to radical, selfless love.
Some highlights from her message:
- The pain of lost hope in love is real and widespread; people long for love, but the world often feels empty of it.
- Christianity offers a “maximally romantic” vision: a world where people keep promises, support each other faithfully, and love unconditionally—because, as she says, “God is love Himself.”
- Faith requires humility and trust, not just intellectual certainty. “Humility is the super weapon in the fight for love. Without humility, there is no love.”
- Love is a decision, not just a feeling. Even when it’s hard or risky, choosing to love is what makes us truly alive.
- The call to action: become a “warrior” for love, embracing vulnerability and courage to set the world on fire with selfless acts.
Her message resonates deeply with me, especially as she says “to be a Christian basically means to believe in love.” I think I'm beginning to understand what that means.
Systems, Abstractions, and My Need for Real-World Examples
As a systems builder, I don’t naturally connect with abstractions like inspirational quotes. I want to see how things work in the real world, not just hear about ideals. That’s why I’m always looking for tangible examples—especially when it comes to something as profound (and complicated) as love.
A Real-Life Lesson: Pizza, Ego, and Listening for God
A few days ago, I had an experience that made Biblical Bookworm’s message hit home. I was downtown for some banking and saw six homeless people huddled in a doorway, sharing a few scraps of food. Earlier, I’d bought a pizza and, unexpectedly, the server gifted me an extra one. That had never happened to me before.
As I walked past the homeless group, a voice inside nudged me to give them the extra pizza. I resisted at first—I wanted to keep my gift! But then I realized: maybe the pizza wasn’t really for me. Maybe God had prompted the server to give it to me so I could pass it on. My ego had to step aside so someone else could be blessed.
When I offered the pizza, a woman in the group exclaimed, “Oh fuck yeah!”—her joy was contagious, swearing and all. I didn’t sense that God cared about her language, just that her happiness was the goal. That moment felt like a small but real manifestation of the kind of love Biblical Bookworm describes: humble, selfless, and practical.
Wrestling with Ego: When Embarrassment Gets in the Way
This wasn’t the first time I’d heard that inner voice. Most recently, while walking and praying for my dad’s health, I felt prompted to kneel and pray at a bus stop—classic prayer position, knees on concrete, arms on the seat. I argued with the voice, worried about looking foolish. Instead, I just sat and prayed (looking like I was just waiting for the bus), and afterwards felt I’d let God down. If I couldn’t obey a simple nudge, could I be trusted with something bigger? The answer made my heart sink.
My dad (who's been a vessel for divine healings) once told me that God’s voice can sound like your own, which makes it hard to discern. That’s why I now try to search my heart and rely on the love inside—because, as the video says, God is love, and that’s how we connect with Him.
The Cost of Caring and the Risk of Love
Another video I watched recently explained that caring always costs something—annoyance is the price of community, and ego gets in the way of connection because we’re afraid of being vulnerable. True love is embarrassing and risks getting hurt, but the alternative is a self-centered culture without real relationships. That’s the crisis facing Gen Z and, honestly, all of us.
The World Needs Warriors for Love—Now More Than Ever
As I reflect on the collapse of dating and marriage, it strikes me that what’s missing isn’t just romance, but a whole set of values that once held communities together: love, family, selflessness, and genuine connection. We need warriors for love—not just in the Christian sense, but people who are willing to put love, community, and family above ego, wealth, and status. If we don’t, where are we headed?
A recent video of the band QWER busking at a South Korean school brought this home for me. In the clip, there are more teachers than children in the audience—a stark symbol of a society where families are shrinking and children are becoming rare. There’s a heartbreaking moment when a young boy cries during dodgeball, not because of the game itself, but because he hasn’t been socialized with other kids his age. At eight years old, he struggles with emotions like a toddler, lacking the support and community that help children grow into healthy adults.
This isn’t just a Korean problem; it’s a global one. As fewer people become parents, and as belief in God or a higher source of unconditional love fades, many never experience what it means to love or be loved unconditionally. Without the love a parent feels for a child, or the sense of being cherished by something greater than ourselves, it’s easy to lose sight of how vital selfless love is to the fabric of our existence. For many, there’s no living example of sacrificial love—no model for how to give without expecting anything in return.
Whether it’s a lonely child in Korea or a stranger on the streets of my own city, the world is desperate for real, selfless love. The solution isn’t just to follow rules or chase after fleeting pleasures; it’s to become the kind of people who love deeply, sacrificially, and courageously.
We need to reclaim a culture where love and community are priorities—where we see others as divine sparks, worthy of care and connection, not just as competitors in a race for status. If we don’t, we risk becoming a society that is wealthy in things, but impoverished in spirit and relationship.
Final Thoughts: Embarrassment, Hope, and “Almond Chocolate”
Writing this post was uncomfortable—probably just as uncomfortable to read—but I hope it helps someone else stumbling through life. If a song could capture how I feel writing this, it’d be “Almond Chocolate” by ILLIT.
A Verse That Sums It Up
“And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it for one of the least of these brothers or sisters of Mine, you did it for Me.’” — Matthew 25:40
This is where I am right now: trying to listen, to love, and to let go of my ego—one awkward, uncomfortable step at a time.
– GTT (Gehlee Tunes Team)
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“Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28 🕊️
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